Pump, NICU, Sleep, Eat - That is exactly what the past seven days have been for me and I couldn't be happier. Especially considering I am the master of sleep and I get pretty much none now. I will only become more sleep deprived when they are home, but do I mind? No, not even close. My love for Sophie and Cameron outweigh any type of love I've ever felt before - for people, things, ideas - everything. I am in love. <3
Charles Cameron <3
Sophie Marie <3
Oh, wait, I guess I should announce the big news!! Sophie Marie and Charles Cameron were born June 23, 2012! Sophie at 1640 and Cameron just a minute later at 1641! My life will never be the same. Initially they could only give us estimated weights of them both being around 4 lbs. 4 oz. Which made no sense whatsoever considering how much smaller Sophie is! Then they gave us some newer weights of Cameron being 4 lbs. 16 oz. and Sophie being 4 lbs. 5 oz. Of course, they have both lost weight since then. They cannot eat and their tummy's are being pumped on "tummy juice". Once the tummy juice is all clear instead of a darker green - and they make a bowel movement - they can start eating! I cannot wait! Cameron tries to eat his paci and I want to cry every time I see it because I just know he is so hungry... :/ But soon enough, he can eat!
I am doing my best at pumping. I have had quite a few set backs though. For example, last night the power went out here so I had to hand pump since the pump I have has to be plugged in - on top of that, the breast milk I had in the freezer went bad and all that I pumped over night had to be thrown away. Good news though - the supply has kept up through this and has even gotten a little better! Nothing compares to pumping at the NICU though - next to my babes, I get quite a bit more. (:
Anyways, I should mention a few milestones, scares, set backs. The business with the twins... So let me start at the beginning. Well, we went for C Section. That was pretty rough on me, recovery wasn't so bad but I didn't handle the actual procedure to well for some reason, oh well. I'm okay now! Anyways. Sophie was first but I had no idea she was even born... She didn't cry at birth. :/ So she had her little set back. Cameron made his appearance one minute later and he definitely cried! I didn't get to see the bowels outside before they were put back in, but Dad did. I'm really glad I didn't get to see them... I don't think I would want to see it. A few hours later, the doctors were in and out of my room, updating me on the little ones. Before I regained feeling and movement in the lower half of my body, the bowels were back in! I was so amazed... and so thrilled! Now the waiting began... I didn't get to see them until 0200 the next day! I hadn't slept because I was so eager! To be honest, I expected a longer wait but I was so ready to see my babies! Before I went down to the NICU I was told that Cameron had a moment in surgery where his heart beat dropped pretty low because his breathing tube became dislodged... Imagine my emotions at that point.. amplify it by a trillion. Yeah, it hurt. My little boy is such a trooper though, he seems to have recovered fine with no long term effects!
I will never forget making that trip to the NICU and seeing them for the first time. I have never felt a better feeling. They were here and they were doing great!
There really hasn't been any downs since then, only ups. But the hard part is yet to come they say. They still have to learn how to use their bowels properly and digest yummy foods. That itself will be a battle but it's a battle I can only do my best to prepare for. We can only hope they know we will be there for them no matter what. I miss them so much when I am not there... ugh.
Yesterday, day 6 - I had a bit of a mental breakdown. The hormones finally caught up with me. I hope that I cried it all out because I know I need to be strong for them. If they can go through all of this, who am I to think I have it worse? They need me and I need them. <3
I know, I've kind of talked in circles with this one but with it being the best week of my life and not knowing where to start, you just kind of have to deal with me :/
They are a week old today! So let's hope the poop soon! Oh, I forgot to mention... Cameron has already pooped! But they can't count it because it was before the fluid from his stomach had been pumped. :/
Okay, but I will leave you with this - Pics from today!
SIDE NOTE: This was supposed to be posted yesterday but we had an interruption with internet connection so here ya go, a day late!